


By All Means, Continue

by starwarned



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Blow Jobs, Ficlet, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, I mean it's not a lot of plot, M/M, POV Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Watford (Simon Snow), Sexual Content, Simon Snow Loves Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon Snow's Wings and Tail, Smut, SnowBaz, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:53:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24789550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starwarned/pseuds/starwarned
Summary: Note: Haven’t read Carry On for a little bit so some of this might be a little inconsistent with the ending of that book (sorry!). I’ve also never written SnowBaz before so I’m really excited. Be kind to me. This is pre-Wayward Son, but kind of has some influence from that book.Also here’s my dilemma. I wanted to write some smut, but when I started writing this, it got really angsty and really fluffy before I even got to the smut. So, uh, I got there, but I got there a little quickly. It’s not super realistic, but some soft SnowBaz and some sexy times for you.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 193





	By All Means, Continue

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Haven’t read Carry On for a little bit so some of this might be a little inconsistent with the ending of that book (sorry!). I’ve also never written SnowBaz before so I’m really excited. Be kind to me. This is pre-Wayward Son, but kind of has some influence from that book. 
> 
> Also here’s my dilemma. I wanted to write some smut, but when I started writing this, it got really angsty and really fluffy before I even got to the smut. So, uh, I got there, but I got there a little quickly. It’s not super realistic, but some soft SnowBaz and some sexy times for you.

**BAZ**

You’d think that (basically) living with someone you lived with for seven and a half years (ish) wouldn’t be that different. You’d think that seeing your roommate that you’re  _ secretly  _ in love with getting out of the shower with just a towel wrapped dangerously low on his waist was the worst it could be. You’d think that and you’d be insanely wrong. 

The worst part about being at Simon and Penelope’s flat all the time is everything else. Simon is even messier when he’s not living with me to ride his ass about it. His perpetual position is on the couch, half-naked (depends on the day if it’s top or bottom), wings tucked in a position that looks kind of uncomfortable but seems to work for him, eating rubbish scones from the store’s clearance section. When he’s not on the sofa, he’s in his bed, stretched out on his stomach and sighing (just  _ sighing _ , like he has nothing better to do). 

I come over almost every day after classes, catching a ride with Penny every weekday except Friday when our schedules happen to line up, and we find Simon  _ The-Chosen-One  _ Snow in the same place every time. Fridays I come over after work. Simon’s still on the couch, usually. 

Today’s no different. It’s Thursday so I sit in the passenger seat of Bunce’s car, trying to hear her talk over the loud scraping sound the car makes as she drives. I’ve been asking her to get it fixed for weeks. 

“Anyway, Simon ate four bags of popcorn in half an hour.” 

“That was the point of this story?” I ask, disappointed that’s where it was going. I was hoping for some suggestions on how to talk to my boyfriend. 

“Sorry, I don’t know how to help you out. Simon’s sensitive.” Penny sounds frustrated, but that might just be because she hit the red light right before attempting to turn right onto their street. 

“I know.” I run a hand down the side of my jeans, smoothing out the creases that just pop back up after I’ve passed over them. “I’ll figure something out.” 

I don’t know how I’m going to bring up sex to Simon. It’s not even just about sex. We’ve barely even been intimate since the whole Mage-died-and-maybe-it-was-Simon’s-fault-and-also-he-lost-all-his-magic-and-gained-a-permanent-tail-and-wings thing. I miss him. 

When Penelope finally parks and turns off the car, my ears ring a little bit from the absence of the god awful noise I’d been subjected to for the twelve-minute car ride. We share a look before she even puts her key in the door, like we both have to support each other, knowing what we’re about to walk in on. 

Simon’s not on the couch, which is a little surprising, but when I split from Penny and head into his bedroom, he’s spread-eagled (spread-dragoned?) on the bed. He’s asleep and one of his wings seems uncomfortably squished underneath him. Watching Snow sleep has always been one of my favorite past times, especially when we were in school, so it comes second nature to me to carefully deposit myself into the chair next to bed (after I’ve moved the three empty coffee mugs from it). 

He’s shirtless and wearing the same trackie bottoms he’d been wearing when I left yesterday as well as only one sock that has rolled down so it’s only covering his toes. Even like this, he’s so fucking beautiful when he sleeps, it makes me want to wake him up so I can be reminded that he’s actually a moron. I don’t have to think about it much longer because Simon is blinking and sitting up a little bit. 

“Hi,” he says, sleep fogging up his voice and his eyes. His wings stretch out behind him as he leans away from the headboard and rubs his eyes. 

“Hey,” I say softly. 

“How long have you been staring at me, stalker?”

“Bold of you to assume I was staring at you,” I retort. “I sat down ten seconds ago and have barely spared you a second glance.” 

Simon flashes a winning smile. Even when he’s the most lethargic person in the world who probably hasn’t gotten out of bed in five hours, he still blinds me with how easily he turns on the charm. “Right.” He scoots across the bed a little bit so he can land his feet on the ground and lean his arms on his knees. “How were your classes?”

“As good as they normally are, Snow.” 

“So, terrible?” 

“Yes.” I reach over and gently tousle Simon’s hair. Even though he clearly hasn’t showered in a few days, his hair is soft and only a little greasy. He closes his eyes as I mess with his hair and that gives me a little bit of hope for the conversation that’s inevitably coming up. It flops back into a mess once I’m done running my fingers through it. My hand drifts down to cup his cheek. 

“Hey, Snow?” 

Simon keeps his eyes closed. “Yeah?” He’s kind of nestled his head into my palm. 

“Can I talk to you about something?” 

That makes him snap out of it. 

_ I don’t want to do this. Crowley, he’s just so  _ good _.  _

I can tell my question makes him nervous. “Sure.” 

I move so I can sit next to him on the bed. Simon turns his body so that he can face me better and so I don’t get smacked by one of his wings. 

I hold onto my cool composure with an iron grip, even if I feel like just holding Simon and rocking back and forth for hours. “So, I know I’m always tired when I come over after classes and you’re often asleep when I get here,” I start. 

_ Good. This is good. He looks invested in what I’m saying and he’s still sitting close to me.  _

“We haven’t really been intimate in a while.” 

_ Fuck. That came out in a really weird way and I can see it in Simon’s eyes that it wasn’t the best way for me to say that.  _

“I just mean,” I continue, in an attempt to fix the look on Simon’s face. “I come home,” 

_ Can I refer to Simon’s flat as my home?  _

“And I feel like every time we’re snogging, you find some excuse to stop. Which is okay,” I add quickly. “I just want to know if I’m doing something wrong. Am I making you uncomfortable? Do you still want-”  _ this? Do you still want me? _ I cut myself off before I can say either of those things. Snow is being uncharacteristically quiet, so I keep going. “I’m not saying this because I want to have sex or anything. I mean, eventually, sure, but it doesn’t have to be right now. I just miss you. I miss getting to show you that I care about you intimately.” 

_ If that doesn’t explain my point, I don’t know what will. He’s looking at me like I’m crazy. And like I’ve torn his heart out of his chest and thrown it down a well.  _

Simon breaks eye contact. __

After a few moments of silence and Simon just staring down at the curve of his tail around his leg, I say “Darling?” as softly as I can.

“I’m sorry.” 

_ That is exactly what I wanted him not to say. Why am I so bad at this?  _

“I’m so sorry, Baz.” He still doesn’t look at up at me, but at least he’s talking so that’s a good sign. “It’s not like I don’t want to. I love kissing you. I love everything included in that, but my brain kind of goes into overdrive once it gets past kissing. It’s so hard not to think about every single thing I could be doing wrong, or if you even want to be there, or be with me-” He stops, his voice getting a little bit choked up. 

I reach and grab a hold of his hand, toying with his fingers with my other hand. “I want to be with you,” I say, trying to put every single emotion I feel towards this boy in the short phrase. I want him to look at me, I want him to see how much I care about him. “I’ve never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you.” 

Simon’s eyes move up, but not quite to my face. He’s just staring at the collar of my shirt. “It’s hard to feel worth it, Baz. I feel like all I do is let you down and I can’t even have sex with you.” 

It breaks my heart to hear him talk like that. “No, darling, please. That’s not why I brought it up.” 

Simon finally looks up at me. I can tell he’s on the verge of tears, but he also looks kind of determined. 

“I want to have sex with you.” 

_ That’s good to hear, at least.  _

Simon continues. “I honestly try not to think about it. It’s very high up on my do-not-think-about list and I’m pretty good at sticking to that, but it’s partly a control thing, I think. The idea of letting go and letting you see me in that way is just- hard.”

I can tell he wants to say more, but the poor boy looks so exhausted from communicating just those feelings. I get it. Snow’s never been great at that type of communication, especially when it comes to things on his do-not-think-about list. 

“You know I love you, right?” I remind him softly. I’m still holding one of his hands in both of my own and he hasn’t pulled away yet so that seems like a pretty good sign. 

Simon nods numbly. His hair flops into his face and I reach up to push it back. 

“I love you so much. I don’t want to force you into anything,” I promise. It’s enough for me that we even had this conversation and that Snow’s aware of how I feel and I’m at least partly aware of how he feels. 

“You’re not,” he says quietly, moving one of his hands to rest on my knee. “I want to. I want to try.” The cloudiness in his voice has completely disappeared.

“Now?” I ask, surprised. “We don’t have to, Snow.” 

He nods again. I can’t tell if that’s a submission or if it means he wants to anyway. When he doesn’t expound on it for a few seconds, I lean forward to kiss the top of his head. His hair smells vaguely of baked goods. 

“Just hold me for a minute,” he finally requests. I’m still not sure where exactly it’s going but I’ll never turn down an opportunity to hold my boyfriend. 

We both shift so we’re lying against the pillows, my arm slipped around his waist so as to not bump into his wings, which are neatly tucked behind his back. He’s curled in towards me with his face buried in my neck and our legs slowly tangle together. 

_ I could stay here for days. Nobody would miss me, I’m sure. Maybe Bunce would get a little concerned, but she’d understand.  _

Snow kisses my neck and I shudder a little bit. His lips feel hot against my generally cool skin. 

“I love you.” He says it so quietly, I can barely hear him. It’s almost like he’s saying it to my neck, which wouldn’t be unusual. He loves my neck and I don’t really know why. 

I hold my boyfriend as gently as I can, running my fingers down his spine and rubbing my nose against his scalp where I have my face pressed into his hair. He’s warm and soft and pliant like he always is. I can feel the tension in his shoulders melt away after a few minutes and that might be my favorite part of being this close to him.

Snow kisses my neck again and nips at the skin a little bit. My breath stutters involuntary and my hand stops its motion along Simon’s back. He presses a few more soft kisses just underneath my jaw before I’m pushing him back. 

“Hey,” I say, making direct eye contact. 

_ God, he’s so pretty.  _

“This was not the point of me bringing this up. I didn’t mention anything so that you’d force yourself into having sex with me.” 

“I know,” he says, pressing our noses together gently. I love it when he does that. “But can I just try something? I’ll stop if I get overwhelmed, I promise.” 

I nod, a little reluctantly. Of course I want Simon Snow to be kissing my neck but not if it’s going to stress him out and I’m afraid that’s what this will lead to. 

Simon presses his face back into my neck and he continues the process of kissing and sucking and gently biting at my skin, causing me to try and keep a handle on my breathing patterns, which are so jumpy as he wreaks havoc on my neck. When he reaches one hand up to start undoing the buttons on my shirt, I get a little wary but he seems to be okay. With my arm that isn’t trapped under him, I help Simon undo the buttons on my shirt. With every inch of skin that’s revealed, he leaves gentle kisses along my chest, his nose making a straight line down the middle of my torso. 

Once the last button has been undone, Snow sits up out of my arms and seems to consider what his next move is. Before I can say anything, he’s straddling my hips and pushing my shirt as far off my shoulders as he can while I’m still lying down against the bed. 

I immediately move my hands to hold his hips. “We can stop whenever you want.” 

“Stop distracting me.” His tone is joking, but he looks pretty serious. 

He flattens his hands against my chest and I’m once again reminded of how  _ big  _ his hands are. He’s bigger than me in a lot of ways and while sometimes it makes me feel small, today it makes me feel proud and like I’m being taken care of. 

Simon runs his thumbs just barely over my nipples and I bite my bottom lip to stop a very embarrassing sound from escaping me. He’s never done that before and obviously my body doesn’t know how to react. Simon catches my eyes with his and they flash, like he’s taking me trying not to moan like a stupid virgin as a challenge. He flicks over one of my nipples with his fingers and I sharply breathe in before letting out a fucking  _ whimper  _ when he pinches and pulls at it immediately after. 

He looks so fucking proud of himself.  _ Crowley, he’s insufferable.  _

I close my eyes because Simon’s hands have found their way to the waistband of my jeans and he’s very carefully undoing them. 

I jump when his tail smacks me in the leg. 

“Fuck, sorry,” he apologizes quickly. “I’m nervous.” 

I laugh a little bit, breaking the tension. “Can’t control your extra body parts, Snow?” 

“Fuck you.” 

I resist the urge to make a snide comment about how I’m trying to. It doesn’t feel appropriate. “Do you want me to spell away your wings and tail?” I ask. 

“You’ll be tired if you waste your magic on my stupid wings.” 

“You could ask Bunce,” I suggest. 

Simon laughs. “Oh yeah, great idea. I’ll just stroll into Penny’s room and ask  _ Hey Penny, do you mind spelling away my wings and tail so I can go suck my boyfriend’s dick? Thanks! _ ” 

“Ah, so that’s where this is leading,” I laugh softly. 

Simon blushes. “Well, that’s what I’m planning on, but if you keep being a prick, then I’m not going to.” 

I smirk and lift my hands up in a sign of concession. “By all means, continue.” 

I still make sure he’s okay with continuing by putting my hands back on his hips and raising my eyebrows at him. He nods that he’s doing okay. 

He scoots back a little bit so that he’s straddling my thighs and tugs down the zipper of my jeans with one hand while the other one rubs circles into my outer thigh through the material. Simon leans down and sucks a hickey into my hip while he’s pulling the jeans down the tops of my thighs. I can’t stop the whine that comes out of my mouth. 

Once he’s succeeded in getting my jeans to my knees, he palms me through my pants with no hesitation. 

“Fuck,” I breathe out, my hips canting forward into his touch. “Snow.” 

He continues and even  _ that _ feels so good, I feel like I can barely breathe. When he pulls his hand away, he quickly tugs my boxers down and I’m hit by the cool air, but don’t experience it for long. Simon takes me into his mouth and I swear I might orgasm on the spot. 

“ _ Fu-ck _ ,” I stutter out and one hand shoots up to find purchase in Simon’s hair while the other grips the sheets next to me. My hand in his hair makes Simon moan and it sends tingles up my spine and my hips jerk forward. 

Simon going down on me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced and I can’t stop the string of whimpers and moans that escape me while he runs his hands up and down my sides while he makes a mess of me. 

“ _ Crowley _ , Snow,” I breathe when he pulls off and replaces his mouth with his hand. “That feels so good, fuck-” I choke on my own breath as he doubles his speed and leans his head down to suck a bruise into my inner thigh. “ _ Simon, _ ” I whine. 

I can feel him smile against my skin and he pulls me back into his mouth. 

I’m unable to control myself as he moves faster and faster, bringing me closer to the edge than I thought was possible in such a short amount of time. “Fuck, Simon, please,” I moan, tugging on his hair. 

He hums against me and digs his nails into the sensitive skin of my thigh. As he hollows his cheeks and sucks hard, I come apart. My thighs tense and my stomach clenches as I come, Simon’s name falling from my lips in a loud whimper in close company with “Fuck, Crowley, shit,” and a lot of other unintelligible sounds. 

Simon pulls off of me once I’ve fully come down, my chest heaving. He’s smiling really softly and I let go of his hair to run my hand along his cheek and rub my thumb against his bottom lip. 

“Are you okay?” I ask, still sort of breathless and feeling a little like my legs will never function again. 

Snow nods. “Yeah. Are you?” 

“Are you kidding? I just had the orgasm of my life.” 

Simon  _ giggles _ . _ God, he’s cute.  _ He leans down and kisses me. I kiss back and pull him down so he’s lying on my chest and I can wrap my arms around his waist. The weight of him pressed against me is something I’ve missed a lot. 

“I love you,” he whispers. 

“I love you too. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yes,” he promises, sounding a little annoyed, but also a little grateful. “I think I’m okay and not really thinking about it when I’m focusing on you.” 

“Well, feel free to do that again any time,” I tease, nudging his face up so I can kiss him gently. “But seriously, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

“This was nice. I’m okay.” 

“Okay.”

I hold him. My jeans are still around my knees and Simon still hasn’t showered in days, but he’s happy and I’m happy. 


End file.
